Imagine it's a beautiful evening and you're about to go to your friend's b'day party. You get dressed up and your wife or your partner comes up to you and asks the million-dollar question,
"Honey, how do I look?"
A shockwave goes down your spine and a drop of sweat down your brow.
Let's say you actually feel that she would look fabulous in another dress, not this one. You muster up the courage and tell her what you ACTUALLY think.
The first time this happens, the worst-case scenario is that you spend the night out on the couch.
But the next time on another day, when a similar question comes your way from the missus, you stick to your guns and follow the same principle of truthfulness & authenticity.
Fast forward some years, I would believe that your partner starts expecting and anticipating from you, the truth and only the truth. And not just anticipating the truth, but actually desiring it. This is what authenticity is all about. It's a long-term phenomenon with short-term discomfort. But like anything worthwhile in life, it has a positive compounding effect.
Now, most people would think of avoiding these small confrontations and focusing on the larger moments in life.
This may not seem to be a big issue if it is a one-time interaction with a stranger.
But if the relationship between the two people is a long-term one or if they aspire to make it one, then these small incidences of lack of authenticity destroy the deep meaningful bond that is desired by these two individuals.
Now you would say,
"But Prateek, it's so much easier to say something that makes her feel good at the moment so that I don't have to deal with another argument right before a celebration or a party."
That's true, I would say.
That is exactly how your brain is designed to protect you from this short-term pain and force you to take the easiest way out. But only in the moment.
Why don't you think about the fact that each time you're not truthful with your loved ones or the world at large for that matter, you'll have to be even less truthful the next time and the next and the next & even less truthful the next time?
It snowballs.
It compounds.
We haven't even considered the toll on your mental well-being, of keeping up with this series of lies, that quite frankly, starts with just a teeny tiny white lie, as they say.
In conclusion, it seems to be much easier to be authentic in our lives than to make up thoughts out of thin air and keep up with them.
Don't forget.
Like in the case of any other change you're trying to accomplish in life, this will also take time.
And this will also take constant and conscious intervention on your part because you need to switch away from your default state of mind, change your past conditioning and break free from how you've been taught by society to live.
So be more authentic from this moment forward no matter what people think about you.
Remember to,
I will finish up with a quote by the ancient STOIC philosopher SENECA that says,
BONUS TIP
So on that note, I will take your leave.
See you next time tribe members.
Be JOYFUL, get busy SERVING Humanity, and become truly FULFILLED in the process.
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Prateek Singh Kumar
